Toilet Paper Canister

I'll give you some information about me: I Jhizz ALO T. I Jhizz three or four times before lunch, and generally Jhizz within two minutes from the end of the meal. I Jhizz when I laugh too loud, I Jhizz when I'm angry, and I Jhizz when I'm drunk. Sometimes I Jhizz because it is time Jhizz.
Recently I was with my girlfriend, do some shopping at Wal-Mart local idling away, waiting at the end shopping sticky. It was a Sunday, when we do all our purchases after a trip to IHOP, which usually has two carafes of coffee with breakfast. By the time I left IHOP, I Jhizz at least twice.

Standing in line, talking about the coming week in our busy lives, I am struck by a painful blow burning in my belly East. This acute pain is accompanied by forty-five seconds worth of gurgling belly which condenses down into a terrible explosion of five seconds. Immediately I began to sweat bullets, grimacing with my teeth clenched, looking around, trying to guess where the bathroom could be.

My beloved girlfriend asks, "Are you okay?"

All I was out "NNNNNUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHH !!!!!" before another burst of five seconds in my pants internal cuts me off. I turn and run - and quickly shuffle - Hick` s my tight between my legs and my buttocks to keep in force the extra protein of three eggs, three pancakes, four pieces of bacon and four sausages washed down with seven or eight cups of coffee every attempt to explode like a cannon ball wet brown. I finish the race on foot to the back of the store in a long corridor, thin, produce doubled. I am now mixing with assplosion barely held in check at every step that I am stopped by a monstrous gurgling echo of my guts. Seeing the look on my face and my beautiful awkward, an employee points by the bathroom door - through which I leap.

In one motion I slam the door, blocking it with my left hand I use my right to pick up my belt and drop hole and shorts. I refer to my shock the beautiful (and surprisingly clean) Queen china ready to swallow the load-terous Azz said, and begin the short, but ultimately futile, down to the seat. With four inches between my dhick and the circle in cold plastic seat, my sphincter gave in and two good books wet foam explodes shiz my anus, which then stimulated my prostate and caused a load of creamy Jhizz money to projections of the seat, the tank, the wall behind the toilet and some in the bowl itself. As soon as the horrible stench that I'm known to produce fills the room, and my eyes start watering.

After the first half-second of my Jhizz and shit, I plop down in the dirt on the seat and make another cut in two or three pounds of wet, foamy shiz. Finally I got up, making sure I'm done, and look around for toilet paper. To my absolute horror, there is none. But then, my eyes hone in on something even better: a container of baby wipes in the sitting room.

Ultimately, I did not clean the box at all - my c `hock. And I continued to buy a good forty minutes, too.

OMG. You have no idea how this story made me laugh! I was in a bad mood when I saw this, and you do hit me out of it! LOL!

I'm telling this story to you as it is extremely important! It was great and made me laugh more than once. Keep Rockin 'dude!